


Always

by xanderdaqueer



Series: Drarry Drarry Quite Contrary [4]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self deprecation from both of them, Spoilers, angsty, talking it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 08:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderdaqueer/pseuds/xanderdaqueer
Summary: Harry is eating dinner when an owl arrives from Draco.





	Always

     Harry sat in his apartment, stabbing a green bean with his fork and playing with it for a bit before eating it. It was a regular night in his place, filled with sickening silence that Harry filled by humming nonstop. The silence scared him. He jumped as a flourish of feathers and a squawk filled the air and an owl came swooping in through his open window. This was an owl that he didn't recognize, and it perched on the table, staring at him apprehensively through it's wide eyes.  
        "Hullo," Harry said in a sullen tone, reaching for the bird and watching as it fluffed it's feathers.  
        He unfurled the note, seeing a handwriting that he'd seen few times in his life.  
        "Harry, I need to talk. You're the only one who will understand. May I come over?" He read out loud. At the bottom of the note was the name 'Draco'.  
        Harry raised his eyebrows. He remembered giving the blonde his new address some time ago, but never before now had the other man reached out to him. He found a blank slip of paper on the counter nearby and wrote back:  
        Draco,  
        Yes, you may come over. See you soon.  
        Harry  
        He rolled up the note after looking it over and attached it to the owl's leg, patting it on the head slightly. It let out a sound of acknowledgement then flew off, out through the same window it had come in through.  
        Harry sat back down with a sigh, looking around his little place and immediately thinking how messy it was. Then he decided that he'd just leave it as is. It was just Draco. On a normal occasion he would be freaking out especially if it was Draco who was coming over, but right now his mind was just too busy with times past and he had a lack of motivation.  
        Some minutes later, Harry heard a faint 'crack' that signified the other man had apparated there, and after a brief moments hesitation came a small knocking on his door.  
        Harry stood and walked over, opening the door.  
        He was met with Draco's half smile. Immediately the brunette noticed that the other's eyes were red and that he'd likely been crying some time before.  
        "Hello, Harry."  
        "Hello, Draco."  
        They stared at each other for a moment longer before Harry stepped back and gestured Draco to come inside.  
        "Sit, sit," he said, taking a seat in an armchair. Draco sat on the small couch across from him, his fingers fiddling with the left sleeve of his shirt. Harry twiddled his thumbs, watching him. "So," Harry said.  
        Draco seemed to jump slightly, looking down at the floor. "Right. Um, how are you?"  
        Harry shrugged in response. "Could be better. You?"  
        He avoided the question. "Nice place you have here. You look good."  
        "Thanks," Harry replied.  
        They both sat in silence for a minute and Harry started humming nervously. Then suddenly Draco spoke.  
        "I can't stop thinking about him."  
        "Him?" Harry asked, his eyebrow raising.  
        "V... V-Volde..."  
        "Voldemort," Harry finished for the other, watching as the blonde nodded furiously, a hand clenched in his hair. Immediately he understood why the former death eater had come to him and not someone else.  
        "It's just... Harry, I d-don't know how you did it. I don't know how you faced him. I know you don't really understand what it was like having to be on h-his side, but you're the closest to anyone who will understand how I feel," the blonde continued, his voice cracking at the end. He was trembling. Harry felt the urge to cross the room and hug the other man. "I can't unsee the things I saw. I know you c-can't either, I know it must plague you sometimes. You aren't the invincible person I once thought you were."  
        "Draco..." Harry murmured, "We've both seen terrible things. I know that. You know that. But we have to try to... stay in the m-moment..." His own voice cracked.  
        Malfoy looked up. "I shouldn't have come. I knew it'd just weigh you down too."  
        "No," Harry responded, straightening up. "The past won't stop plaguing me as well."  
        Draco looked back down at his shoes. "I'm so s-sorry."  
        "Why?"  
        "For everything."  
        Harry knew that the words held more meaning than Draco could convey. "It's okay. I forgive you."  
        Draco let out a shuddering breath, and Harry saw a tear sliding down the other's cheek. "How can you forgive me?"  
        "Because in the end, you were as much a victim as I was."  
        More silence.  
        "It won't come out, Harry."  
        Harry looked at Draco inquisitively, confused, and his heart ached when Malfoy raised his head to meet his green eyes with his teary bluish gray ones, pulling up his left sleeve. Harry's eyes went downwards, scanning the blonde's arm. The Dark Mark was faded, but still there. The skin around and beneath it was heavily scarred and reddened, and was covered in fresh scratches.  
        "It won't c-come out," Draco repeated.  
        Harry's mouth was open in shock. He'd never realized that living with the Dark Mark had affected Draco this much.  
        He stood, crossing the room and following his instincts as he sat down beside Draco and hugged him. He felt the way the other man trembled and shook, hearing little sobs escaping his lips and just hugged him. After a moment he felt the blonde's arms wrap around him as well and felt his own tears begin to slide down his face.  
        And they just held each other, knowing how it felt, feeling a mutual sense of understanding. They were always going to be stuck with the scars and the pain.  
        Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Awwww it's sad ahh my heart,,  
> Tumblr: @xanderdaqueer


End file.
